“I wouldn’t sit on that couch if I were you…”

“I wouldn’t sit on that couch if I were you…”

26 April, 2008 | 12.00AM

• Written by: Industry Boy
• Filed under: Music News: digweed, sasha

What I’m about to tell you is a rather shocking story, related to this rather fetching couch found backstage at one of the venues Sasha and John Digweed played at during the tour.

But the moral of the couch story has repercussions for every couch in every backstage area in every venue across the world.

When most people think of backstage areas, they imagine glamorous mirrored dressing rooms, Champagne, half naked girls and huge lines of cocaine.

They picture a rockstar smoking and slurring his words, with two girls on each arm and an entourage of similarly inebriated band members.

The truth is, as I’ve found on the Sasha and Digweed tour, is that the green rooms at clubs and venues are often former broom cupboards turned rockstar launch pads with a mish mash of old furniture hastily cobbled together to resemble something vaguely comfortable.

“I wouldn’t sit on that couch, if I was you,” said the insider, backstage one night, pointing to the white furry couch in the corner.

“One time I was on rock tour with a big crew and we had been driving all night,” he explained.

“So after load in we were all so tired, we decided to crash out backstage on some couches.

“We went to sleep for a few hours, and it was OK.

“But a few days later on the bus, suddenly all the crew started getting itchy.

“All of us had crabs. When we looked back, we realised we had caught those fuckers from the couches backstage.

“See rockstars would bring girls back stage and fuck them on the couches.

“Sperm and other bodily juices get spilled on those couches and because they aren’t leather they can’t be wiped down.

“So never sit on couches backstage, otherwise you could catch something nasty” he said.

And on closer look, I noticed that the white furry couch actually had stains all over, yellow and brown ones in particular. I feel itchy just looking at it.

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