DJ T.’s tour blog: Week 7 and the Get Physical Producer Challenge

DJ T.’s tour blog: Week 7 and the Get Physical Producer Challenge

27 August, 2009 | 7.40AM

• Written by: Beatportal
• Filed under: Music News: dj t, dj t blog, get physical

This week, DJ T. uses his diary to launch an exciting new Get Physical Producer Challenge just for the readers of his blog. Click through to the bottom of the post for the full details.

And, following a recent Ewan Pearson column in Groove Magazine, DJ T. shares his own list of air-travel curiosities that he has noticed over the years. Frequent flyers will find his insight hilarious.

Monday, 26th of August, Berlin

I just enjoyed my penultimate free weekend before skipping town, i. e. before I leave Berlin behind for almost three and a half months. From early October, my tour will take me across four continents, playing different cities and probably countries every Friday and Saturday night. Well, it’s all my own doing, right?

With this in mind, I enjoy the remaining summer days all the more, Berlin’s nightlife is simply too enticing these days. On Saturday, I checked out a club called Crackers and ended up bopping around to hip-hop, R&B and impeccably selected 1980s tunes for a few hours.

If you find yourself picturing a clinical designer club, populated by a gaggle of posh, champagne flute-toting West Berliners, you couldn’t be further off the mark. The place is underground all the way, tucked away in the Eastern part of town, pretty hard to find and only hosts select parties promoted by word of mouth, from one insider to another, for an intimate atmosphere similar to that of comparable electronic locations. A thriving niche on the highest level, this wouldn’t work in any other German city.

On Sunday, I didn’t protest too much when a bunch of friends whisked me away to a party at Rechenzentrum. A twenty minute drive away, in the leafy district of Treptow, this indoor/outdoor location occupies one of the sought-after embankment plots (just like Bar25, Watergate and other spots on the river Spree).

Predictably enough, the supposedly casual, laid-back Sunday afternoon matinee morphed into yet another endless and progressively excessive Berlin party marathon. During the 15 hours I spent at the venue, I caught the entire sets of Rhadoo, Tobi Neumann, Martin Buttrich, Matthias Tanzmann and Richie Hawtin, with only one letdown in the mix.

Air travel curiosities

A few days ago, I retrieved the latest issue of my beloved Groove magazine (Germany’s longest-running source on electronic music and club culture) from my mailbox. More often than not, I skip straight to one of my favourite sections, the columns by German musician and cultural critic Thomas Meinecke and Ewan Pearson, otherwise known for his production and DJ skills.

In addition to his turntable wizardry, Pearson is also a very eloquent and entertaining writer. For his current column, he decided to list a few of the oddities and idiosyncrasies he had noticed during his second ‘career’ as a frequent flyer. I really loved the overall premise because airports and planes are a truly bizarre realm of their own and the perfect place for social studies – the smallest detail can betray so much about the personality of a lone traveller or the psychological profile of an entire nation.

I caught myself giggling at Ewan’s list and more or less agreeing with his 12 theses. Well, all besides one, really: it is not just the Germans who will applaud a safe landing; other ‘clap happy’ travellers include US citizens, for example.

Generally speaking, my own rigorous and scientific studies would suggest a proportional relationship between the length of the flight and the number of clappers. While few acknowledge the vagaries (and pilot’s skills) of a national short-hop flight, long-distance journeys seem to unite the, well, United Nations, in applause. So, the propensity for clapping is more likely tied to an individual’s character than the group’s.

The same applies to the fear of flying – most of the nervous, sweaty-palmed crowd fall into the category of those afraid to lose control, thus feeling helpless and at someone else’s mercy when they’re all the way up in the air. I would also like to correct part two of Ewan’s statement #5: The Germans are not the worst offenders when it comes to elbowing their way to the exit after touchdown.

I have noticed a clear East/West gradient – the rudest and most ruthless escapees tend to come from the former Eastern Bloc or Russia, not to forget the Chinese contingent who have mastered the art of mutual disregard. But let’s move on to my own top 10 flights of fancy; an open-ended list of air travel curiosities that will probably grow with all the input and inspiration from my upcoming tour.

1. Flight attendants tend to blush when they demonstrate the plane’s safety equipment, especially the correct use of the oxygen mask. What does this tell us?

2. To me, a constant source of incomprehension and fascination is the almost universal urge, affecting around 80 per cent of all travellers, to enter and exit the plane as fast as possible. Without a second of reflection, or so it seems, on the sense or absurdity of their own actions, they willingly accept minutes or even hours of queuing just to be among the first on or off the plane.

What exactly is the point? I, for one, have made it a habit to sit down and wait, read or work, until the last people have entered or left the plane and then, at the last moment, nip down the now empty aisle. The most embarrassing specimens, at least to me, are the ones that – driven by some invisible urge – undo their seatbelts the second the plane hits the runway, jump out of their seats and drag their luggage out of the lockers. Well, they probably had a troubled childhood.

3. Among international star DJs there is a thinly veiled – and sometimes childishly determined – rivalry on frequent flyer status. Any DJ based in Germany without a Lufthansa Senator status is likely to meet with pitying stares. Those, like Paul van Dyk, who have worked their way up to the highest level, the so-called Hon status, are chauffeured between terminal and plane in their own, exclusive limousines. Sure, not a bad perk if that’s your thing, but there is simply no need to mention it in every other sentence.

4. On an even more infantile note: you’re all familiar with the concept of ‘musical chairs’, right? On long-distance flights, some passengers play a similar unspoken game, often displaying impressive skills in the arts of deception and perfidiousness. The aim of the game: snaring a row with more than two consecutive free seats for that elusive mid-flight lie-down. Watching the race for these sought-after rows can be pretty pathetic. Admittedly, I am not entirely innocent myself ;-)

5. One of the greatest unsolved mysteries of air travel is the inexplicable number of passengers who order tomato juice with salt and pepper instead of a more common beverage. I have my doubts that even 15 per cent of these people would ever prepare this exotic concoction in the comforts of their own home, least of all with extra seasoning. What does this tell us about the psychodynamics of this subset of humanity, the occasional tomato juice drinker?

6. As someone who is relatively tall (6 feet and counting) I often feel discriminated against. Depending on the particular airline and model, in coach my knees might end up wedged so tightly against the seat in front of me that it makes for a surprisingly effective torture technique. The toilets, too, can be ridiculously tiny and force me into the strangest of contortions when I take a leak standing up. Sure, on the ground, I’m usually house-trained, but I prefer not to rest my ass on public toilets, especially when they’re decorated with the piss stains of those unfortunate tall souls who had to use this tiny torture chamber before me. It’s the perfect example of a vicious circle.

7. I still can’t fathom how a country can greet and treat its guests or transit passengers the way the US does (in general) – even before the terror scares and security hikes of 9-11. The rigmarole starts long before you reach the ground, with one of those extremely ludicrous entry forms. You know what I mean – all those questions about previous flirtations with Nazi ideology and your involvement in genocides?

I always feel like answering, “Sure, I took part in one only yesterday. And there was another one the week before.” I would love to know how immigration might react to that. I guess I couldn’t count on their sense of humour … unfortunately, I’d run out of space if I tried to list all the other harassments an unsuspecting visitor to the States can expect. They definitely make you feel like a criminal before you even set foot in the country.

8. The security measures at most airports – besides the large cities in very few countries like the USA, Britain or Germany – are a total farce. I can’t even count the times I’ve unwittingly smuggled drinks on board without anyone noticing. Apart from that, if you really fancy a leisurely hijacking, there are literally hundreds of other ways and means to reach your goal.

I recently read that a number of reasonable EU representatives are actually working on scaling back these elaborate, overreaching and simply baffling security measures that ‘relieve’ passengers at German airports alone of goods worth 150 million Euros every year.

9. Spanish and Russian baggage handlers are undisputed champions at delayed baggage transfer and retrieval – most passengers resign themselves to a 30-minute wait before they can grab their belongings off the reclaim carousel. The Spanish airlines also claim the dubious top spot for bags lost in transit, preferable flight cases of world-famous DJs. Unkind souls have already suggested that there might be a few ambitious amateur DJs among the ground staff …

10. The major Scandinavian airports boast the best architecture and most tasteful design, the German ones (especially Munich) tickle you palate with the best gastronomy while London and Brussels serve the tastiest oysters.

Get Physical Producer Challenge

Okay, back on the ground and it’s over to you, the Beatport(al) crowd: with round one of the ‘Get Physical Producer Challenge’!

I sat down with label partners, the guys from M.A.N.D.Y. and Booka Shade, to figure out a way to get you in the groove while I’m away on tour. With five months left on my DJ diary, we would like to use this time for a competition that’s open to anyone who reads these lines and feels like submitting their unreleased tracks.

We will evaluate all submissions and pick a winner at the end of each month who gets a cool gift pack with all new Get Physical releases and a $50 Beatport download voucher. After the final round at the end of the year, we will pit these five contenders against each other and choose our favourite. This winning track will make it onto our upcoming ‘Full Body Workout’ compilation on Get Physical.

competition@physical-music.com (and add ‘Get Physical Competition‘ to the subject box to be on the safe side).

I’m really looking forward to your hidden treasures – so get down, get creative and, you know, get physical!

Your DJ T.

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